We can rest assured that when God doesn’t give us something we really want it is because that thing is not His absolute best for us. (Isaiah 55:8-9) Yes, this is a hard pill to swallow. And I am not saying that God gave us this baby and then changed His mind. I am saying that in His sovereign wisdom (which is something that as a Christian you must accept in order to maintain any sanity in a world corrupted by sin and tainted by mere human thought), God knew that this trial would bring Tim and I to a higher plane and a deeper level in a way nothing else could, making us more usable (and relatable) instruments for His work, something for which we pray diligently.
Perhaps God knew that even more than being “Mommy” again, what was best for me at that point was to grow in my faith (James 1). Knowing that I am called into ministry, I am constantly praying for God to make me who He wants me to be (more like Him). 1 Corinthians 1:27 makes this need very clear! Uncomfortable as it is, trial accomplishes this like nothing else (just as gold is purified by fire - 1 Peter 1:7).
Painful as the process was, it gave me new found strength and confidence to carry on, to continue to grow. God says He’ll be there, and He means it!
This post is shorter than most. Please read it a couple of times and think it through. And most importantly, please click on the verses, as that is where the true wisdom lies!
