Purpose in Pain: A Better Plan (cont'd)

We can rest assured that when God doesn’t give us something we really want it is because that thing is not His absolute best for us. (Isaiah 55:8-9) Yes, this is a hard pill to swallow. And I am not saying that God gave us this baby and then changed His mind. I am saying that in His sovereign wisdom (which is something that as a Christian you must accept in order to maintain any sanity in a world corrupted by sin and tainted by mere human thought), God knew that this trial would bring Tim and I to a higher plane and a deeper level in a way nothing else could, making us more usable (and relatable) instruments for His work, something for which we pray diligently.

Perhaps God knew that even more than being “Mommy” again, what was best for me at that point was to grow in my faith (James 1). Knowing that I am called into ministry, I am constantly praying for God to make me who He wants me to be (more like Him). 1 Corinthians 1:27 makes this need very clear! Uncomfortable as it is, trial accomplishes this like nothing else (just as gold is purified by fire - 1 Peter 1:7).

Painful as the process was, it gave me new found strength and confidence to carry on, to continue to grow. God says He’ll be there, and He means it!

This post is shorter than most. Please read it a couple of times and think it through. And most importantly, please click on the verses, as that is where the true wisdom lies!

Purpose in Pain: A Better Plan

Isaiah 55:8-9 have carried me through many inexplicable moments in my life. Whatever your particular struggle - from wondering why relationships fail to questioning the loss of a seemingly great opportunity, from enduring undeserved rejection to experiencing gut-wrenching loss - one thing is clear from these verses. God has a master plan.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.”

I think it is of utmost importance that we recognize the incredible promise contained in these verses. There is a Christian school of doom and gloom out there that would say, “God has a plan. It doesn’t make sense to us, but His ways are not ours, so get over it.” Well, while that may be true in a sense, let’s take another look at what is being said. Yes, His ways are not ours, meaning they are different, but then He goes on to say that not only are His ways different, but they are higher, meaning they are better!

God sees things we cannot see and when He looks at our lives, I believe He sees the end from the beginning, and He has a perfect plan for us. I believe He wants and plans wonderful things for each of us; however, because we don’t live in a perfect world, we are going to (as Christ told us in John 16:33) face difficult times. When we encounter these trials we are at a decision point. Will we give up and turn down the road of defeat and despair never to be truly effective examples of the awesome power of the Holy Spirit that lives inside of us, or will we give our situation, with all its hurt, pain, and questions over to the Lord and let Him use the situation and us to bring further glory to Himself and victory for the kingdom?

The question is not whether we will go through pain and trial, but rather what will we do when these times come? I’m not saying that our situations should never knock us down. There are moments in life, so painful and so tragic that our human forms simply cannot hold it together. As the Jesus said, “The Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.” (Matt. 26:41) So the point is not that you never fall down but rather that you get back up! (Prov. 24:16) Build yourself up in the Spirit daily (fill your arsenal, if you will) so that when these times come you will be able to stand. As Joyce Meyer often says, “You can be pitiful or powerful, but you can’t be both!” You decide!

To be continued…

Purpose in Pain: Stand on the Promises!

“God is in heaven, and you are here on earth. So let your words be few.” Ecclesiastes 5:2 (NLT)

One of my favorite things is to search for and mark the promises of God to us that are found in His Word. They are countless! Years ago God gave me a “confession,” if you will, that says, “God will not let me miss or mess up any of the plans that He has for my life as long as I am truly seeking Him.” I often say this out loud, as the scripture tells us that our words have power (Proverbs 18:22). And based on verses like Proverbs 16:9 & 19:22, I believe that each of us can claim this promise as our own.

I believe that God is constantly preparing us for things we don’t understand. If we have given our lives to Him as a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1) we must endure whatever comes with the faith that He will never leave us (Hebrews 13:5). (If you are not familiar with the poem Footprints, I suggest reading it.) Years ago I began praying “Use me,” and “Make me.” I know that in all my “human-ness” I am a mess. But I also know, as sure as the air that I breathe, that God has placed a calling on my life. So to get to “use me” I will no doubt have to continue in the “make me” process (which will never be complete this side of glory). I have to walk with Him each day (whether good or difficult), trusting that He is on the job. He is making me into an “approved workman” (2 Timothy 2:15), an instrument ready for the task He has set before me (which only He knows in full). He is answering my prayers! When pain and trial come, should I abandon my call and seek my own comfort, crying, “Lord, it’s too hard!”? No! I can’t! I’m in it all the way! As Paul said, I must press on.” (Philippians 3:12 & 14)  

I always wondered how I would react if my faith was ever truly shaken. Now I know, from experience, that He really is my Rock, and because of His power alive in me I truly can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13) That knowledge alone is priceless!

Two other things I have always believed but now know as never before are that, “I know Whom I have believed,” (2 Timothy 1:12) and that, "He Who began a good work in me is faithful to complete it.” (Philippians1:6)

You may be thinking, “That’s great for you, but I don’t have a “call” on my life.” Yes, you do! If you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior, you are now His ambassador (personal representative) to the world! (2 Corinthians 5:20) There is no greater call! Now, fulfill it! Study to show yourself approved. (2 Timothy 2:15) And know that, come what may, He will never leave you! (Hebrews 13:5) Let go of your life, and let Him have it. You’ll find peace like you’ve never known.

Purpose in Pain: Peace in the Storm

At 4 a.m. (February 23, 2011) the day after learning about the loss of our baby and just hours before we would head to the hospital for the procedure, God woke me gently with these words that I wrote down.

In Christ we can stand in the midst of tragedy amazed by the power of God. In what should be our weakest moment we can find strength we never dreamed of. While life’s storm rages around us, we can find complete peace from the only One who says, “Peace, be still.” (Mark 4:39)

The year before, when I was organizing a women’s conference for our church and the day was almost here, I was thinking over all I had to do. In my spirit (so clearly it was nearly audible) I heard God say, “I got it!” It was an amazing feeling, and for the rest of that week I walked in joy and peace instead of fear and anxiety. I was able to enjoy that time instead of being completely stressed out. And undoubtedly I was a much better reflection of the message I was hoping to convey than if I had been a complete mess.

I challenge you to remember these words from God. If you find yourself in a moment of worry or fear, hear God say, “I got it!” And let that be the end of it. What peace! God knows your heart, and if you are earnestly seeking Him, He’ll take care of everything else!

“But seek (aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom and His righteousness (His way of doing and being right), and then all these things taken together will be given you besides.” Matthew 6:33 (Amplified Bible)

Purpose in Pain: Backfire!

Don’t you just love it when good triumphs over evil?! Isn’t it great when the wicked fall into their own pit? (Proverbs 26:27)

I have always loved the story of Joseph (Genesis 37-50). Sold into slavery by his brothers and later sentenced unjustly to prison, Joseph never lost his faith. He knew God could pull him out of anything and eventually, not only did God get Joseph out of prison and slavery, but He gave Joseph favor and raised him up to second in command to Pharaoh!  (Eph. 3:20) Then, years later when there was a famine in the land, Egypt was prepared (because God had given Joseph foresight and wisdom). At their end, Joseph’s brothers came to beg for food and refuge. They had to beg this from Joseph, though they did not recognize him (assuming he would have died years ago). When Joseph revealed himself (and once their father (Jacob) had died), his brothers feared for their lives. But instead of using his power and authority to condemn them, Joseph delivered one of the most profound thoughts in scripture when he said, “What you intended for evil, God intended for good.”

WOW!  When this pregnancy tragically ended in the loss of the baby I was carrying Satan was very pleased with himself. I have known for years that God has called me into a fulltime ministry (though I do not yet know the full form that will take), and I’m sure Satan thought that this loss would be a sure setback and would halt, if not completely derail my progress, growth, and influence. I must say I had often wondered myself what I would do if ever faced with such a situation. But God, as He promised in scripture, was and is my Rock! When everything around me began to crumble, my foundation held! Talk about an ultimate backfire! Instead of stopping me in my tracks, it gave me more fuel! Because God was so faithful, and I had the opportunity to see and taste His truths and see the Word put to the test and prevail in my life as never before, I am more determined than ever to share of the great things God has done!

You see, if you and I will keep God in the forefront of our minds and keep our hearts turned toward Him, we will see this powerful scenario played out again and again in our own lives. And in doing so, we’ll open up the door not only for our own deliverance but for the benefit of others as they witness the power of our great God at work in our lives to turn tragedy into triumph.

Whatever you are going through, give it to God right now. He can use anything to bring Himself glory. And if we will pour out our lives before Him, He will take our darkest moments and use them to bring light to the world. What Satan intends for our evil, God will use for our good. Take that Satan!

Purpose in Pain: Jesus Has Overcome!

“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

This verse has often been a source of strength, power and hope to me over the years. As I got ready for bed the night after learning that our baby was now with Jesus, I heard this in my Spirit, and it ministered to me more than ever. Read it again! (Please commit it to memory so when you need it, it will be there!)

“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Christ never promised us a perfect or easy life, and anyone who was told that being a Christian meant that the things of this world won’t touch you was sorely deceived. Quite the opposite, Jesus warned us clearly that we would indeed have many trials and struggles just like everyone else. But in us there is a difference!

This scripture doesn’t mean the things of this world won’t happen to us. It means that in Christ we can (we will!) find the strength to rise above them! The difference between us and the world (those who don’t know Christ) is not that we don’t suffer, but rather that we are not affected the same way. The world will suffer and be struck down. We will suffer, but in Christ we will rise up higher!

“for though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again, but the wicked stumble when calamity strikes.” Proverbs 24:16

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4

Please take a moment to click the link below and let this song minister to you as is has to me. We too face pain and suffer trial, and yet, because of our risen Lord, we can stand again and say, “Bring it on world! For by the power of Christ, which lives in me, I will rise!”  

“I Will Rise” By Chris Tomlin   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yvfso4Q8xg

Purpose in Pain: The Power of Peace

We were given the option to have tests run to find out exactly what had caused the loss of the pregnancy. Both Tim and I said, without hesitation, that we did not need to know. I see nothing wrong with finding out, and had it been our first I believe we may have been more likely to opt for this testing; however, in this moment we were both able to just accept that God was in complete control and had it all taken care of. The fact that He knew what was going on was sufficient.

I have mentioned that scripture was put to the test in my life through this trial as never before. In addition to this, I began to see many scriptures that I had quoted for years in an entirely new way.

As I was getting ready for bed that night, I was trying to figure out how it was possible that I didn’t feel the need to ask why and that we had no need to be able to explain it all. Being such a strong type A personality, this is very against my nature. Then the Lord brought these verses to mind:

  “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7 (NKJV)

I had always seen this scripture as describing a peace that could not be explained and that passed all reason. This is very true, but this night I understood an entirely new aspect of God’s peace. Not only does it pass understanding, but it surpasses understanding, meaning it is better than understanding! So it hit me; having the peace of God was better than having the scientific explanation.  Not only can God’s peace not be explained, but it means I need no explanation!

Think on that for a while. It is amazing. I can’t explain the peace we had, but because we had it we needed no further understanding. Only God can do that…especially in someone like me who always feels the need to understand everything!

With this kind of peace we can take whatever life throws our way. But there is only one way to obtain this peace, and that is by coming to and abiding in the One who gives it.

So that night, wrapped in my husband’s arms and the Father’s love, I drifted off to sleep with a heavy heart but a spirit that was inexplicably strong and at peace.

“Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.” 1 Thessalonians 4:13

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. “ Matthew 5:4

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” Psalm 34:18

Purpose in Pain: Entering the Trial (Part 2)

So we are at the imaging center. As soon as the technician puts the device on my belly the wonderful image of our precious baby is on the screen. There is no mistaking the head, the face, the tiny arms and legs all curled up inside me. Tim was right there next to me, and we both watched with held breath as the technician worked in complete silence for what seemed like forever. Having been through this before I had a pretty clear understanding of what I was looking at. I was 10 and a half weeks pregnant, but the baby was measuring at 9 and a half weeks. I wasn’t overly concerned about this, as the same happened with Mikaela. However, at the very end, a curser was placed over the baby’s chest, and I saw straight lines scrolling across the bottom of the screen. My heart began to sink, and I tighten my grip on Tim’s hand. The technician said she was going to take the images to the Radiologist and would return shortly. Tim was holding out hope, but I knew in my heart what we had just seen.

I was sitting on the edge of the table facing Tim, when the radiologist walked in the room. The results were written all over his face. “Unfortunately,” he began, “the tests confirm…” Anything else he said was lost on me as my heart jumped into my throat and Tim reached for me with both hands. The thing I had feared most was coming true. The doctor told us to take all the time we needed and left the room. There, in the dark room lit only by the glow of the monitors, Tim and I held each other (more like he held me), and I said the first thing that came to my mind… “I can't go through this again.”

I had been sick and fatigued with this pregnancy, but no more than with Mikaela (maybe even a bit less), but for some reason I had less tolerance for it this time around. And I was being plagued by intense fears, not only for this baby, but for Tim and Mikaela as well. I was daily (hourly) giving those fears to God, but they were wearing on me nonetheless. This pregnancy was zapping me on all levels, and to be completely honest, I never had complete peace about it. I had told myself weeks ago that if God would give us a healthy baby I would likely never want to put myself through this again (very different for my feelings when pregnant with Mikaela).

So here I am, my fears becoming reality. For a moment the room was closing in around us, and then, without me having to go search for it, without us uttering a word in prayer to ask for it, the peace of God began to settle in our hearts. I was filled with a quiet resolve that God was in control and all was going to be alright. (Romans 8:28) With tear-filled eyes and somber hearts, we left the imaging center and headed across the parking lot to meet with my doctor, who is a wonderful Christian lady and immediately hugged us both.  My first question for her was, “When can we try again?” That quickly God had comforted me and began to give me the desires of my heart. 

“Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4 (NKJV)

This doesn’t mean He will give you whatever you want. It means that He will work in you and cause you to desire the things He wants for you.  This is how, if you are truly seeking Him, He leads you in the right path to all that He has for your life. And He, being our Father, only wants the best for us. And if we’ll let Him, He’ll blow our minds with what He does! (Luke 11:11-13, Eph 3:20)

With the D&C scheduled for the next day and so much swirling around me, my heart was at peace. Yes, I was sad and hurting, but God’s perfect peace was holding me. As we pulled into the garage this thought came to mind. “Let it not be in vain!” I want God to get all the glory and to use this tragedy in my life and in the lives of as many others as possible. I could hide, crumble into a corner and push everyone away, but then the loss of my baby would serve no one. So I want to tell everyone what has happened and most importantly what the Lord has done and is doing in our lives! So I already knew the purpose for my baby’s life, short thought it was. His life will touch lives for years to come as the Lord gives me opportunity to share of His power and love through this difficult time. To God be the glory!

Please know that none of this is because of who I am. It is all because of Who God is! The feelings of peace, acceptance, and perseverance that I experienced have nothing to do with me…they are all the fulfillment of God’s promises to us in scripture. He tells us to seek Him with all our hearts, “and the Peace of God will guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 4:6-7)This is what I have tried to do, and when I needed it the most that peace was there, just like He said it would be!

I did a lot of note jotting in the days immediately following (much in the middle of the night for the first few nights when God would wake me up with a truth to hold to). I will continue this series by sharing these thoughts and truths that God has used and is using so powerfully in my life.
 

Love and blessings to you all. Thank you for following my story…or rather God’s story He is working out in my life.

 

Purpose in Pain: Entering the Trial (Part 1)

February 22, 2011

At 8:47 a.m. I sent this message out to those on my daily scripture memorizing email.

“ ‘Jesus said to him, “ ‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself." Matthew 22:38-39

Maybe it's not as difficult as we think... Focus on making these two your most important goals today, and see if the other things don't start falling into place much better. Everything may not go perfectly, but I am confident that the change in your perspective will make a huge difference in both how you handle obstacles and how they affect you.”

WOW! I had no idea that in less than an hour I would be put to the test to hold to my faith and perspective as never before.

At 9:30 a.m. I had a regular check up with my doctor. At 10 and a half weeks pregnant, all of our friends and family had been learning of the exciting news over the previous weeks that Tim and I were expecting our second baby, due just a few weeks after Mikaela’s 2^nd birthday. There was no use trying to hide it, as the second time around things go faster and, in addition to being sick, I had already been using the “rubber band on the pants” trick for three weeks!

After hugs and congratulations were shared between my doctor and I, and we had discussed any questions, we were ready to get out the Doppler to hear the heartbeat for the first time. As she began to rub the wand around on my greased up, bulging belly, I waited anxiously to hear the words, “There he is!” Nothing…two more minutes…nothing…another couple of minutes…still nothing. I was shifting nervously and began to use deep breathes both to calm myself and to hold at bay any yet unfounded fears that were tugging at my mind. I knew God was in control, and I told Him as much as, finally admitting defeat, the doctor said the baby was likely hiding behind my bone and she just couldn’t get to him. She had the nurse call and have me scheduled for an ultrasound.

Leaving the office and walking across the parking lot, I was offering up prayers to God reassuring Him, and perhaps more so myself, that I was fully trusting in Him, that I knew all things were in His hands and that He was with us. Before I reached the car I called Tim to let him know what was going on.

Side note: I thank God for a husband who has his priorities straight. He is a hard worker but firmly believes that family comes before work and God comes before all. It is because of his integrity and willingness to live this out that in the past eight years I have never had to face anything alone.

Without hesitation, after reassuring me that he knew everything was fine, Tim left his office and met me at home in time to get in the car together and head to the imaging center. (We were further blessed that, in God’s providence, Tim’s mom was down for a visit and was able to stay with Mikaela.)

Lesson #1: Before heading out for the ultrasound, I gathered my beautiful 18 month old daughter in my arms, as hard as that was since she NEVER stopped moving. She was all smiles, kisses and giggles. She had no idea that something might be wrong. She remained this way throughout the entire ordeal. She was trusting, and innocent, and showed no signs of fear. All she knew was that Mommy and Daddy were there and that, even though they may be sad, everything was going to be fine.

In Matthew 11:25 Jesus said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children.” And in Matthew 19:14 He said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

Our children have so much to teach us!

We’ll pick up form here on the next post. Stay tuned!

Purpose in Pain

Coming next week! Go on this journey with me. Life can be hard, but God is great! Starting next week I will begin a series here sharing much of what the Lord has taught and is teaching me through the pain of losing our second pregnancy (February 2011). I hope that you will join me, and that you will be inspired by the power, love, and unending grace of our great God!

"Consider it wholly joyful, my brethren, whenever you are enveloped in or encounter trials of any sort or fall into various temptations. Be assured and understand that the trial and proving of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience. But let endurance and steadfastness and patience have full play and do a thorough work, so that you may be [people] perfectly and fully developed [with no defects], lacking in nothing." James 1:2-4 (The Amplified Bible)

My friends, there is purpose in pain! What Satan intends for evil, God can and will work for our good if we will allow Him to.

If you know anyone going through a trial please share this series!

More coming soon!

Pass It On!

So my baby girl just turned four! And I am ready to put the breaks on her!!! She is at this wonderful, magical age where she can grasp so much, and yet life still holds so much wonder. One minute she is quoting scripture and praying incredible heart felt prayers and the next she is in a tutu and a tiara imagining her wedding and doing twirls with her eyes closed. :) Of course, not every moment is so precious. She has plenty of days where she is too smart for her own good, insists on challenging my every order and whines so much I find myself on the verge of a mommy breakdown! :) But more times than not she is my little buddy. It has been this way since she was born. The two of us going everywhere together. I am still overwhelmed by the vastness of this deep, controlling, all-consuming force called “mommy love.”

When we first found out Mikaela was a girl, I cried. Not because I did not want a girl, but because I knew first-hand how hard being a girl (especially during those trying middle school years) could be. I cried for what she might face, and because I did not feel healed enough myself to help her with the challenges ahead. In a way, it was just what I needed to get serious about working through my own past hurts with the Lord. I felt compelled to start writing down things I wanted to be sure I told her before she needed it.  Things I had learned during major soul-searching cry sessions on my knees before the Father trying to work through the trials I was dealing with. So much I learned in college that I wish I had known 10 years earlier.

I made a list before she was born called “Things I Want My Daughter to Know.” I plan to pass these pearls on to her at an early age in the hopes of sparing her some of life’s pain and preparing her to be, not only firmly rooted in God’s love for her, but also to equip and encourage her to show that love to everyone He puts in her path.

If you have not done this, I challenge you to take some time over the next week to sit alone with the Lord and pray about lessons you have learned that you wish you had known sooner than you did. Write out the scripture, the advice, the guidance that made a difference to you and determine to do all you can to equip your children for living a fruitful life in Him. No, we cannot spare our kids every hurt. And there is a lot to be said for learning lessons on your knees one on one with your Creator. But never underestimate the power of your guidance in your little one's life. Who knows, maybe God gave you some of your greatest revelations more for their benefit than for your own! As you prepare them for a new school year, take time to equip them with more than new clothes and the proper notebook. Take time to make sure you are giving them the things only you can give, the wisdom and insights that money cannot buy.   

Yes You Can!

OK, so we have explored 7 Positive Mental Strategies. Now before you jump on the excuse train and start telling me all the reasons you can’t do these things…

Yes, you can! – God will never ask you to do anything you cannot do, with His help. Whatever He asks you to do, He gives you the strength and ability to do and do well and with a positive attitude.  Philippians 4:13 “I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency].” (Amplified Bible) I have heard speaker/teacher, Joyce Meyer put it this way, "I can do everything I need to do in Christ. Not whatever I want to do, but whatever He calls me to do."

You’ve got what it takes! If you have accepted Christ the scripture tells us many times that the Holy Spirit Himself lives on the inside of you.  Thus the fruit of the Spirit is in each and every believer…but you must develop and practice it.  You have the fruit of the Spirit – use it! Fruit = product of…If you have a tomato plant you get tomatoes, if a banana tree, bananas…if the Holy Spirit, you have… love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23). Get alone several times a day and list the products of the fruit of the Spirit starting with the words, “Through the power of the Holy Spirit Who lives in me I have…”
 

Here’s the key…don’t wait until you need it to try to get it! You wouldn’t run a marathon without training. So don’t expect to fight life’s battles without preparing before hand.

Take Him at His word…it will be there. John14:27 tells us that Christ gave His peace…peace that works when times are bad, when trials come and we see no way out. The world’s peace only works when things are good. Christ gives peace not from the storm, but in the midst of it!

P.M.S. #6 & #7

So this one is short and sweet, but these scriptures really need very little explanation. I hope you'll read this post slowly a few times and attempt to commit these verses to memory.
 
Positive Mental Strategy #6: No complaining!
 
Philippians 2:14-15 tells us, “Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world,”
 
I once read a commentary on this verse that jumped off the page at me. It said, “Grumbling is an outward expression of an inward problem.” OUCH!
 
Positive Mental Strategy #7: Focus !
 
To have peace in the storm, keep your eyes on Him. Think about it. Peter could walk on water until he took his eyes off of Jesus. (Matthew 14)

 

This wraps up our 7 Positive Mental Strategies. In the next post we’ll recap and look at why we should never say we just can’t do it!

 

P.M.S. #4 & #5 Set and (Constantly) Renew Your Mind

Positive Mental Strategy #4 : Set your mind…and keep it set!

 “IF THEN you have been raised with Christ [to a new life, thus sharing His resurrection from the dead], aim at and seek the [rich, eternal treasures] that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. And set your minds and keep them set on what is above (the higher things), not on the things that are on the earth.” Colossians 3:1-2 (Amplified Bible)

We have a responsibility and a job to do! How you keep your mind set is to fill it with right things. Write scripture on notecards and place them in places you will see several times a day. Leave yourself notes on your mirror, in your car, on the computer or on the door of your fridge. Make a conscious effort!

Don’t know where to begin? Try Philippians 4:8. “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. “

Positive Mental Strategy #5 : Renew your mind.

"Strip yourselves of your former nature [put off and discard your old unrenewed self] which characterized your previous manner of life and becomes corrupt through lusts and desires that spring from delusion; And be constantly renewed in the spirit of your mind [having a fresh mental and spiritual attitude], And put on the new nature (the regenerate self) created in God's image, [Godlike] in true righteousness and holiness." Ephesians 4:22-24 

Note the aggressive nature of the word strip. This is not a polite asking. This is an aggressive, harsh, deliberate action! You can't be soft on your flesh. You must get aggressive if you are going to get victory in the area of your thoughts and emotions.

The phrase "be constantly renewed" indicates that this is something we have to keep doing. Don’t get discouraged. We live in an imperfect world. We have to be constantly alert and active. You are going to slip and struggle. The important thing is that you keep going and keep your focus on the Source of your strength. 

“Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].” Romans 12:2 

“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7a

Your thoughts have a direct impact on the person you are. Again, you can’t control the thoughts that come but you can control what you do with them.

 

 

P.M.S. #3: Just Do It!

Don’t wait to feel like it. You can’t control the feelings you get, but you can control what you do with them.

I would have to say that the closet thing we have in the Bible to a hormonal women is King David. :) Just read Psalms. One day he is on top of the world. The next he is the scum of the earth. He is ready to take down nations. Then everyone is against him. But it is a wonderful example because he showed that we will have a mixture of emotions and feelings but that in the midst of (not in the absence of) it all we can still trust in, rely on, and give praise to God.

Feeling depressed, worried, moody? Follow David’s example.

"The enemy pursues me, he crushes me to the ground; he makes me dwell in the darkness like those long dead. ⁴ So my spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed. ⁵ I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done. ⁶ I spread out my hands to you; I thirst for you like a parched land." Psalm 143:3-6

Satan and negativity are our enemies. How often have you felt crushed to the ground? Here, to "dwell in darkness" equals depression. Note the different tone in verse 5. Instead of dwelling on these feelings he began to meditate on the power of God; He says ,"I will!" He makes a choice despite his feelings. Then he doesn’t just chase away the negative feelings, he seeks to be filled up with God.

Look at Psalm 42:5. "Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God."

Here again we see David making a choice despite how he feels! We have to stop bowing down to our feelings! We must stand in the power and authority of the almighty God!

Don’t just take it – take action!

P.M.S. #2: Take it Captive!

Positive Mental Strategy #2: Take it captive!

2 Corinthians 10:5 says, “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

Take every thought captive… And do it immediately! Don’t wait until you’ve entertained the thought long enough to let it get out of control, wreck your mind and then start attacking others! The minute you have negative, bitter thoughts enter your mind...Take them down! Make them obedient to Christ!

When you take something captive you don’t ask politely, you use force! We are commanded to get aggressive. Satan is not gentle with us. Don't be gentle with him. The Scripture tells us that once we accept Christ we then have the mind of Chirst. The instant something enters your mind which is contrary to the mind of Christ recognize it for the trash that it is and refuse to let it take root. 

 

P.M.S. #1: Be Still!

Think about this…When a tire blows on your car, do you keep traveling down the road at 60 mph and just hope it will work itself out eventually? No! You slow down, pull over, take a look and get about fixing the problem! To keep going would be to invite disaster for yourself and others.  So I believe the answer to our hormonal issues is P.M.S. :)

P.M.S. - Positive Mental Strategy (This is how we will triumph over hormones!) We all need some

P.M.S.! So the next time a man rolls his eyes and says, “Must be PMS." I want you to think about this and say, “You are absolutely right, you wonderful thing you!” And give him a big smile!!

 
Positive Mental Strategy #1:  Be still!

Psalm 46:10 says, "Be still and know that I am God," We need to be still not just in body but in mind! Like pulling your car over. Don’t wait to see what happens! As soon as you hear that first thud you’d better pull that thing over! Run to a quiet place. Shut the door, and be still before God. Pour your heart out, and give Him a chance to pour into you all that you need. God knows that we go through these things. He created us! I believe He is sensitive to our needs and ready to help us out. But He won’t force Himself on us.

So go to God and be still. If all you can pray is “Help me! Help me!” God understands.

"Holy Hormones!" (post #1)

Ok, here we go! I hope you will take all this with the humor in which it is intended. These are serious thoughts sprinkled with comic relief! Let’s take a good look at the issues we battle, the lies Satan tells us, and the temptations we face to just throw in the towel…or better yet to just sit in the middle of the floor in tears with the towel over our heads! :)

First, let’s get one thing straight: Don’t believe the lie that because you’re a woman there is something wrong with you. Quite the opposite! You are the crowning jewel of all creation. Once God made woman He saw no need to create anything else! His masterpiece was complete.

I am going to be coming at this predominately from where I am in life; however, from our preteen years until our last days, we all fight our own hormonal battles. This series can apply to you regardless of your stage in the journey.

Now, let’s look at the widely accepted "Female Excuse." In Bible times, one week a month the women would move into seclusion…nowadays (for ladies who have not yet had the change of life), we’re either about to start, in the middle of, or recovering from. We only have one good week a month! And during our one good week we want to know why everyone else is so rude to us. Well, sisters, it’s because we ticked them off the last 3 weeks all in the name of hormonal imbalance!

**Now, I am not saying that there is never a physiological reason behind your struggles. I myself battled depression for many years and have no doubt that there was a chemical imbalance at play…but science has proven time and again that until you get your mind focused and on the right track, all the medicine in the world  cannot make you whole again.

 

So where did this session come from? About two and a half years ago, Tim and I sadly lost our second baby when I was about 2 and a half months pregnant. One day during that pregnancy I was talking to my mom and I said, “You know, I get this stuff about how the Bible tells us to conduct ourselves, but the Bible doesn’t say anything about what to do when you’re hormonal!” First I thought…well Jesus was a man…He didn’t have to deal with all this! But then I thought that is probably good, because He would have changed His mind a million times about whether or not to go to the cross! But all joking aside, I know God well enough to know that He never leaves us hanging. So I began to investigate...And these are my findings…I hope you will have an open mind and really put some effort into taking these things in….

 

More coming soon. Please share this series with the ladies in your life who could use a good laugh and a little encouragement from the Word that our God is in control even when we are losing it! J

Losing it!

Ever feel like you are losing it?! The walls are closing in. It’s like you're drowning in a sea of exhaustion. Like you could fall apart at any minute, and it is all you can do to keep at bay the tears that continually brim your eyes? No? Anyone?

Trust me…It’s not always Hunky-dory Holiness around here! J In fact, Tuesday and Wednesday of this week were particularly rough for me….and for my family! I’ve talked to enough “sisters” to know that I am not alone in this.  Hormones and emotions and the sheer exhaustion of our calling can really zap us.

Am I on top of all this? Goodness no! I mess it up monthly! But I’m so much better than I used to be, and with the help of the Holy Spirit I will continue to grow in this area. I must accept it as an area I’ll always have to fight and do so in the name of the Lord!

As women, we must believe God is on our side, and that He designed us with all these emotions and hormones for His glory! I know, seriously? But His ways are higher than ours!

I am about to start a series I call “Holy Hormones!” J From our preteen years until our last days, we all fight our own hormonal battles. This series can apply to you regardless of your stage in the journey. I hope you will spread the word and tune in yourself. I pray the Lord will use the things He has taught and is still teaching me about submitting to Him in mind, body, spirit and hormones!

Until next time here is a thought…

“He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall remain stable and fixed under the shadow of the Almighty [Whose power no foe can withstand].” Psalm 91:1

This does not necessarily mean that our emotions will never be disturbed if we are continually dwelling in Him, but rather that we can have an inner peace in the midst of swirling thoughts, emotions and moods. Even if our head is spinning, our spirit can still be grounding on the Rock! Never, never, never give up your own daily time with the Lord. Fight for it! Plan around it. Neglecting it is like trying to live without breathing!  It can’t be done. You cannot thrive or even survive spiritually without drawing nourishment from Him and His Word! If this means keeping a Bible in your bathroom and locking the door to get 30 seconds then do it! This is war!

Look for the “Holy Hormones!” series to start next week. Please tell your friends!

A Word on Discipline: How to distinguish between "foolishness" and "childishness."

How do you know? Ever witnessed your little bundle of joy make a less than stellar decision that stops you in your tracks and makes you ask yourself, "Should I punish that?" Boy, have I been there! Especially when my kids were younger. In fact, during the toddler years I frequently found myself just staring at them blankly and saying, "I really don't know what to do with that. On the one hand, that was a terrible choice and quite frankly really embarrassed me in front of all the moms in the checkout line. On the other hand, she's three! Is that part of being three and an area to extend grace, or do I need to jump on this before it becomes a larger problem and the foolishness bound up in her heart begins to wreak havoc on our home and destroy her future?!" Ok, that may be a bit of an exaggeration, but you get where I'm coming from. 

The following (written in the summer of 2013) was the result of the Lord speaking to my desperate, exhausted mommy heart as I pushed my then 1 and 3 year olds across the hot blacktop with a cart full of groceries, and stared with dumbfounded wonder

at my adorable, curly haired girl who was, at that moment, making me want to pull every last one of my own blond locks right out of my head! 

---------

Last year Tim and I took a wonderful parenting class at our church. The point was made that when it comes to disciplining your young children you must first determine whether the offense falls under foolishness or childishness. Foolishness being a definite sin that requires immediate and firm correction. Childishness being an action that springs from the immaturity of their little minds and hearts that, while possibly inappropriate, really is just a simple lesson they have yet to grasp and need to be gently instructed on. Could be classified as "silly." (I guess in a sense you could say disobedience vs. silliness.)

I know there is always a cloud of debate surrounding words like punishment, discipline and correction. For our purposes "correction" is the giving of guidance and the changing of course (teaching the proper way), while "discipline" is the handing out of a consequence to make clear that the action/choice was not acceptable. 

Over the past few months I have found myself struggling with distinguishing between foolishness and childishness. I've become concerned that I may have been missing some opportunities for foundational Biblical correction so important in shaping Mikaela's young life. (At 14 months, nearly all of Holden's flubs are childishness. On occasion, he gets that glint in his eye, and I know he knows better. At this point a firm "No" and a swat is sufficient, since he does not yet grasp the deeper Biblical truths I am trying to impart! :) But he's getting there!! :) )

Now, let me first say that I LOVE my babies, and being Mommy is the greatest privilege I've ever had! That being said...I'm not a "Kid Person" in general. I'm going to assume I am not alone in this. :) I've never been one to gravitate towards kids. Heck, I was more likely to run the other way! I always knew I wanted my own, but never had the urge to be around someone else's. So obviously I am not called to children's ministry! Praise God there are those with that gifting who are making a powerful impact on our world's future!  All this being said, I have a very low tolerance for "childishness," so what may be a simple childish act could easily hit me as a much greater offense than it really is. For this reason I have struggled with the distinction.

So to get to the point! :) I have spent much time talking with Tim and praying about this issue. On Tuesday I was walking through the grocery parking lot, and the Lord gave me what I think is a great parenting tip..."When you are trying to determine if an action warrants discipline ask yourself, "Would the Lord be pleased with this behavior?"' Was the action in line with God's desire for how we live our lives? Did the action show love as Christ has commanded us to do? If the answer is "no," and if this is a principle that your child already knows, then I would say, yes, discipline is called for.

Please note the part about your child already knowing the Biblical principle in play. A child cannot obey a rule they've never been taught, regardless of how obvious we think it should be! "Don't put the toy in the toilet....don't eat the dog's food...don't put your hands in your dirty diaper...." You get my point. 

However, if an action unquestionably goes against a line you have clearly drawn then, yes, discipline is in order. But when you find yourself in that moment of limbo, I encourage you to first ask yourself, "Have we covered this?" And be sure to give your kids credit. They know when they cross set boundaries a lot more than you may think they do.

I have taught Mikaela from an early age (18-24mos) that Jesus wants us to love everybody. I've added to that as she has matured, so that now she also knows that we are to treat others the way we want to be treated, and that we show God we love Him by obeying Him and obeying our parents. If an action is out of line with these precepts then she understands that it is disobedience, and she knows that disobedience calls for discipline. Follow me?     

Hope I didn't lose you and that what the Lord showed me has given you something good to think about as you continue on with your highest calling...raising powerful men and women of God!

"For whom the Lord loves He corrects, Just as a father the son in whom he delights." Proverbs 3:12

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