Purpose in Pain: No Guilt in Grace!

Guilt in grace? Sound a little strange? You see, Satan has a funny way of condemning you no matter what you’re doing. If you’re upset, he may tell you that you should suck it up and quite all the self-pity. (Sometimes, when appropriate, God may say that to you as well, so you’d better be spending time with Him so you can tell the difference!) I experienced the opposite. Here I was, at what was the lowest moment of my life, and yet I was hopeful and positive. This was NOT of myself! I never imagined being able to have that kind of peace.

Anytime I had ever let the thought of losing a baby enter my mind I would immediately cringe and imagine that I would be so knocked down by such a tragedy that I would lock myself away and not leave the house (or maybe even my room) for as long as possible. But the truth is I have secluded myself more when having a cold than I did after losing this baby. Despite our painful loss, I was overcome by this incredible need to be with people and to share the love and peace that God had given me. I could hardly wait until Sunday to be with my church family and to let them see, that by His power, I was ok!!

In the midst of these feelings the Lord had given me there were other nagging questions in the back of my mind. As Tim and I sat in the waiting area about to be called back to prep for the surgery that would physically take my baby from me, I was a mixture of emotions. I wasn’t falling apart, but shouldn’t I be? Was it right that the people in the waiting area with me would not know that I has just suffered such a devastating loss? And once called back, should I really attempt to smile when I met the nurses and orderly? Wasn’t that wrong? They knew why I was there. Wouldn’t they think something was wrong with me if I didn’t appear distraught? I felt so conflicted, the feelings I thought I should have and the consistent feeling of peace I did have were at war within me. As I contemplated these questions in my mind, this still, small voice spoke to my spirit, “You don’t have to fall apart. I have given you peace. Let them see Me.”

So there is no need to feel guilty for the grace God may give you in the midst of your trial. Let them see Him! The scripture tells us many times to rejoice in trials, count it all joy (James 1:2-3), for the joy of the Lord is our strength (Nehemiah 8:10). Even in suffering we can be holy (set apart) for Him. Trust in the only One who can turn your mourning into dancing! (Psalm 30:11) Don’t let Satan tell you that being at peace is wrong. I was suffering greatly at this time (and still have rough moments), but by His grace I had peace in my heart though the storms of life continued to rage around me. God is so good!

“Moreover [let us also be full of joy now!] let us exult and triumph in our troubles and rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that pressure and affliction and hardship produce patient and unswerving endurance.” Romans 5:3 (Amplified Bible)

Purpose in Pain: A Better Plan (cont'd)

We can rest assured that when God doesn’t give us something we really want it is because that thing is not His absolute best for us. (Isaiah 55:8-9) Yes, this is a hard pill to swallow. And I am not saying that God gave us this baby and then changed His mind. I am saying that in His sovereign wisdom (which is something that as a Christian you must accept in order to maintain any sanity in a world corrupted by sin and tainted by mere human thought), God knew that this trial would bring Tim and I to a higher plane and a deeper level in a way nothing else could, making us more usable (and relatable) instruments for His work, something for which we pray diligently.

Perhaps God knew that even more than being “Mommy” again, what was best for me at that point was to grow in my faith (James 1). Knowing that I am called into ministry, I am constantly praying for God to make me who He wants me to be (more like Him). 1 Corinthians 1:27 makes this need very clear! Uncomfortable as it is, trial accomplishes this like nothing else (just as gold is purified by fire - 1 Peter 1:7).

Painful as the process was, it gave me new found strength and confidence to carry on, to continue to grow. God says He’ll be there, and He means it!

This post is shorter than most. Please read it a couple of times and think it through. And most importantly, please click on the verses, as that is where the true wisdom lies!

Purpose in Pain: A Better Plan

Isaiah 55:8-9 have carried me through many inexplicable moments in my life. Whatever your particular struggle - from wondering why relationships fail to questioning the loss of a seemingly great opportunity, from enduring undeserved rejection to experiencing gut-wrenching loss - one thing is clear from these verses. God has a master plan.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.”

I think it is of utmost importance that we recognize the incredible promise contained in these verses. There is a Christian school of doom and gloom out there that would say, “God has a plan. It doesn’t make sense to us, but His ways are not ours, so get over it.” Well, while that may be true in a sense, let’s take another look at what is being said. Yes, His ways are not ours, meaning they are different, but then He goes on to say that not only are His ways different, but they are higher, meaning they are better!

God sees things we cannot see and when He looks at our lives, I believe He sees the end from the beginning, and He has a perfect plan for us. I believe He wants and plans wonderful things for each of us; however, because we don’t live in a perfect world, we are going to (as Christ told us in John 16:33) face difficult times. When we encounter these trials we are at a decision point. Will we give up and turn down the road of defeat and despair never to be truly effective examples of the awesome power of the Holy Spirit that lives inside of us, or will we give our situation, with all its hurt, pain, and questions over to the Lord and let Him use the situation and us to bring further glory to Himself and victory for the kingdom?

The question is not whether we will go through pain and trial, but rather what will we do when these times come? I’m not saying that our situations should never knock us down. There are moments in life, so painful and so tragic that our human forms simply cannot hold it together. As the Jesus said, “The Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.” (Matt. 26:41) So the point is not that you never fall down but rather that you get back up! (Prov. 24:16) Build yourself up in the Spirit daily (fill your arsenal, if you will) so that when these times come you will be able to stand. As Joyce Meyer often says, “You can be pitiful or powerful, but you can’t be both!” You decide!

To be continued…