Walk it Off!: Handling "mom-stress" and savoring the medicine of laughter.

So I have never hidden the fact that many many times, usually several times a day, I pretty much just go crazy! I try to hold it inside. I'm not a yeller or screamer. But I am a huffer. One deep exhale, and everybody knows … mom is about to lose it!


 I've spoken with enough other moms to know I am not alone. But knowing this still never seems to ease my frustration with myself. So many times I've heard and heeded the advice to go into another room, take a deep breath, and ask God for help. While I think this is excellent advice, I have found that for myself perhaps it is not enough to leave the room. I think for me I actually need to leave the house! I'm not necessarily saying you have to take off by yourself and leave everyone behind. However, there is so much to be said for getting away from the distractions of the gadgets, the noises, the walls (which in those crazy mommy moments can literally feel like they are closing in on me), and just getting out into God's world and really breathing Him in. Listen sister. Hormones are real! Rather than pretending we don't struggle with them, let's learn to manage them and face them head on. Trust me. You'll feel better, and your family with thank you!

I remember one day last winter when I felt this coming over me again, but I knew I just had to get out. Mikaela and I went out into the driveway and put on our roller-skates. We skated together in circles in the driveway then went for a loop around the neighborhood. We held hands. We laughed. We talked. Just breathing in the fresh air really rejuvenated my soul. And since its Florida, there was also the sunshine factor. After this, Mikaela and I went for an impromptu romp on the beach. The sand between our toes and the smiles on our faces were exactly what I needed.

So I encourage you, the next time you feel this "I'm going to lose it!" feeling coming over you, just get out and have some fun. Breathe in the fresh air. Do something that will cause your children to laugh. Yes, laughter is great medicine. And what I am learning now is the laughter does not always have to be my own to begin to work powerful healing in my soul.

 ^"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” Isaiah 30:21 (NIV)

See all the posts in my Holy Hormones! series HERE.

Yes You Can!

OK, so we have explored 7 Positive Mental Strategies. Now before you jump on the excuse train and start telling me all the reasons you can’t do these things…

Yes, you can! – God will never ask you to do anything you cannot do, with His help. Whatever He asks you to do, He gives you the strength and ability to do and do well and with a positive attitude.  Philippians 4:13 “I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency].” (Amplified Bible) I have heard speaker/teacher, Joyce Meyer put it this way, "I can do everything I need to do in Christ. Not whatever I want to do, but whatever He calls me to do."

You’ve got what it takes! If you have accepted Christ the scripture tells us many times that the Holy Spirit Himself lives on the inside of you.  Thus the fruit of the Spirit is in each and every believer…but you must develop and practice it.  You have the fruit of the Spirit – use it! Fruit = product of…If you have a tomato plant you get tomatoes, if a banana tree, bananas…if the Holy Spirit, you have… love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23). Get alone several times a day and list the products of the fruit of the Spirit starting with the words, “Through the power of the Holy Spirit Who lives in me I have…”
 

Here’s the key…don’t wait until you need it to try to get it! You wouldn’t run a marathon without training. So don’t expect to fight life’s battles without preparing before hand.

Take Him at His word…it will be there. John14:27 tells us that Christ gave His peace…peace that works when times are bad, when trials come and we see no way out. The world’s peace only works when things are good. Christ gives peace not from the storm, but in the midst of it!

P.M.S. #6 & #7

So this one is short and sweet, but these scriptures really need very little explanation. I hope you'll read this post slowly a few times and attempt to commit these verses to memory.
 
Positive Mental Strategy #6: No complaining!
 
Philippians 2:14-15 tells us, “Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world,”
 
I once read a commentary on this verse that jumped off the page at me. It said, “Grumbling is an outward expression of an inward problem.” OUCH!
 
Positive Mental Strategy #7: Focus !
 
To have peace in the storm, keep your eyes on Him. Think about it. Peter could walk on water until he took his eyes off of Jesus. (Matthew 14)

 

This wraps up our 7 Positive Mental Strategies. In the next post we’ll recap and look at why we should never say we just can’t do it!

 

P.M.S. #4 & #5 Set and (Constantly) Renew Your Mind

Positive Mental Strategy #4 : Set your mind…and keep it set!

 “IF THEN you have been raised with Christ [to a new life, thus sharing His resurrection from the dead], aim at and seek the [rich, eternal treasures] that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. And set your minds and keep them set on what is above (the higher things), not on the things that are on the earth.” Colossians 3:1-2 (Amplified Bible)

We have a responsibility and a job to do! How you keep your mind set is to fill it with right things. Write scripture on notecards and place them in places you will see several times a day. Leave yourself notes on your mirror, in your car, on the computer or on the door of your fridge. Make a conscious effort!

Don’t know where to begin? Try Philippians 4:8. “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. “

Positive Mental Strategy #5 : Renew your mind.

"Strip yourselves of your former nature [put off and discard your old unrenewed self] which characterized your previous manner of life and becomes corrupt through lusts and desires that spring from delusion; And be constantly renewed in the spirit of your mind [having a fresh mental and spiritual attitude], And put on the new nature (the regenerate self) created in God's image, [Godlike] in true righteousness and holiness." Ephesians 4:22-24 

Note the aggressive nature of the word strip. This is not a polite asking. This is an aggressive, harsh, deliberate action! You can't be soft on your flesh. You must get aggressive if you are going to get victory in the area of your thoughts and emotions.

The phrase "be constantly renewed" indicates that this is something we have to keep doing. Don’t get discouraged. We live in an imperfect world. We have to be constantly alert and active. You are going to slip and struggle. The important thing is that you keep going and keep your focus on the Source of your strength. 

“Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].” Romans 12:2 

“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7a

Your thoughts have a direct impact on the person you are. Again, you can’t control the thoughts that come but you can control what you do with them.

 

 

P.M.S. #3: Just Do It!

Don’t wait to feel like it. You can’t control the feelings you get, but you can control what you do with them.

I would have to say that the closet thing we have in the Bible to a hormonal women is King David. :) Just read Psalms. One day he is on top of the world. The next he is the scum of the earth. He is ready to take down nations. Then everyone is against him. But it is a wonderful example because he showed that we will have a mixture of emotions and feelings but that in the midst of (not in the absence of) it all we can still trust in, rely on, and give praise to God.

Feeling depressed, worried, moody? Follow David’s example.

"The enemy pursues me, he crushes me to the ground; he makes me dwell in the darkness like those long dead. ⁴ So my spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed. ⁵ I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done. ⁶ I spread out my hands to you; I thirst for you like a parched land." Psalm 143:3-6

Satan and negativity are our enemies. How often have you felt crushed to the ground? Here, to "dwell in darkness" equals depression. Note the different tone in verse 5. Instead of dwelling on these feelings he began to meditate on the power of God; He says ,"I will!" He makes a choice despite his feelings. Then he doesn’t just chase away the negative feelings, he seeks to be filled up with God.

Look at Psalm 42:5. "Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God."

Here again we see David making a choice despite how he feels! We have to stop bowing down to our feelings! We must stand in the power and authority of the almighty God!

Don’t just take it – take action!

P.M.S. #2: Take it Captive!

Positive Mental Strategy #2: Take it captive!

2 Corinthians 10:5 says, “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

Take every thought captive… And do it immediately! Don’t wait until you’ve entertained the thought long enough to let it get out of control, wreck your mind and then start attacking others! The minute you have negative, bitter thoughts enter your mind...Take them down! Make them obedient to Christ!

When you take something captive you don’t ask politely, you use force! We are commanded to get aggressive. Satan is not gentle with us. Don't be gentle with him. The Scripture tells us that once we accept Christ we then have the mind of Chirst. The instant something enters your mind which is contrary to the mind of Christ recognize it for the trash that it is and refuse to let it take root. 

 

P.M.S. #1: Be Still!

Think about this…When a tire blows on your car, do you keep traveling down the road at 60 mph and just hope it will work itself out eventually? No! You slow down, pull over, take a look and get about fixing the problem! To keep going would be to invite disaster for yourself and others.  So I believe the answer to our hormonal issues is P.M.S. :)

P.M.S. - Positive Mental Strategy (This is how we will triumph over hormones!) We all need some

P.M.S.! So the next time a man rolls his eyes and says, “Must be PMS." I want you to think about this and say, “You are absolutely right, you wonderful thing you!” And give him a big smile!!

 
Positive Mental Strategy #1:  Be still!

Psalm 46:10 says, "Be still and know that I am God," We need to be still not just in body but in mind! Like pulling your car over. Don’t wait to see what happens! As soon as you hear that first thud you’d better pull that thing over! Run to a quiet place. Shut the door, and be still before God. Pour your heart out, and give Him a chance to pour into you all that you need. God knows that we go through these things. He created us! I believe He is sensitive to our needs and ready to help us out. But He won’t force Himself on us.

So go to God and be still. If all you can pray is “Help me! Help me!” God understands.

"Holy Hormones!" (post #1)

Ok, here we go! I hope you will take all this with the humor in which it is intended. These are serious thoughts sprinkled with comic relief! Let’s take a good look at the issues we battle, the lies Satan tells us, and the temptations we face to just throw in the towel…or better yet to just sit in the middle of the floor in tears with the towel over our heads! :)

First, let’s get one thing straight: Don’t believe the lie that because you’re a woman there is something wrong with you. Quite the opposite! You are the crowning jewel of all creation. Once God made woman He saw no need to create anything else! His masterpiece was complete.

I am going to be coming at this predominately from where I am in life; however, from our preteen years until our last days, we all fight our own hormonal battles. This series can apply to you regardless of your stage in the journey.

Now, let’s look at the widely accepted "Female Excuse." In Bible times, one week a month the women would move into seclusion…nowadays (for ladies who have not yet had the change of life), we’re either about to start, in the middle of, or recovering from. We only have one good week a month! And during our one good week we want to know why everyone else is so rude to us. Well, sisters, it’s because we ticked them off the last 3 weeks all in the name of hormonal imbalance!

**Now, I am not saying that there is never a physiological reason behind your struggles. I myself battled depression for many years and have no doubt that there was a chemical imbalance at play…but science has proven time and again that until you get your mind focused and on the right track, all the medicine in the world  cannot make you whole again.

 

So where did this session come from? About two and a half years ago, Tim and I sadly lost our second baby when I was about 2 and a half months pregnant. One day during that pregnancy I was talking to my mom and I said, “You know, I get this stuff about how the Bible tells us to conduct ourselves, but the Bible doesn’t say anything about what to do when you’re hormonal!” First I thought…well Jesus was a man…He didn’t have to deal with all this! But then I thought that is probably good, because He would have changed His mind a million times about whether or not to go to the cross! But all joking aside, I know God well enough to know that He never leaves us hanging. So I began to investigate...And these are my findings…I hope you will have an open mind and really put some effort into taking these things in….

 

More coming soon. Please share this series with the ladies in your life who could use a good laugh and a little encouragement from the Word that our God is in control even when we are losing it! J

Losing it!

Ever feel like you are losing it?! The walls are closing in. It’s like you're drowning in a sea of exhaustion. Like you could fall apart at any minute, and it is all you can do to keep at bay the tears that continually brim your eyes? No? Anyone?

Trust me…It’s not always Hunky-dory Holiness around here! J In fact, Tuesday and Wednesday of this week were particularly rough for me….and for my family! I’ve talked to enough “sisters” to know that I am not alone in this.  Hormones and emotions and the sheer exhaustion of our calling can really zap us.

Am I on top of all this? Goodness no! I mess it up monthly! But I’m so much better than I used to be, and with the help of the Holy Spirit I will continue to grow in this area. I must accept it as an area I’ll always have to fight and do so in the name of the Lord!

As women, we must believe God is on our side, and that He designed us with all these emotions and hormones for His glory! I know, seriously? But His ways are higher than ours!

I am about to start a series I call “Holy Hormones!” J From our preteen years until our last days, we all fight our own hormonal battles. This series can apply to you regardless of your stage in the journey. I hope you will spread the word and tune in yourself. I pray the Lord will use the things He has taught and is still teaching me about submitting to Him in mind, body, spirit and hormones!

Until next time here is a thought…

“He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall remain stable and fixed under the shadow of the Almighty [Whose power no foe can withstand].” Psalm 91:1

This does not necessarily mean that our emotions will never be disturbed if we are continually dwelling in Him, but rather that we can have an inner peace in the midst of swirling thoughts, emotions and moods. Even if our head is spinning, our spirit can still be grounding on the Rock! Never, never, never give up your own daily time with the Lord. Fight for it! Plan around it. Neglecting it is like trying to live without breathing!  It can’t be done. You cannot thrive or even survive spiritually without drawing nourishment from Him and His Word! If this means keeping a Bible in your bathroom and locking the door to get 30 seconds then do it! This is war!

Look for the “Holy Hormones!” series to start next week. Please tell your friends!