To the best daddy I know! Happy Father's Day, Babe!!

I dedicate this post to the most amazing daddy I know, my incredible husband, Tim. For a man who had only held a baby one time prior to ours being born, he was a natural from the very beginning!

We have been blessed with one of each - a beautiful, articulate, glitter and sparkles girl and a goofy,

sometimes loud, yet incredibly loving little boy. She’s all girl, and he’s all boy! J And Daddy knows how to relate to them both. Whether in a suit and tie taking his little princess to the Daddy/Daughter dance, or out on the field helping coach our little Babe Ruth in t-ball, he is a man they respect, learn from, look up to, and love fiercely.

Tim strikes an excellent balance between fun and firm, gentle and tough.  He sets an example in hard work, incredible self-discipline and unshakable integrity. He demonstrates the importance of not only being a strong leader, but proves that the best leaders are humble followers of Jesus Christ.

He provides, protects, disciplines and loves with intentionality and focus. He takes his role very seriously, knowing that when God saw fit to bless him with a family, He also gave him an obligation to lead that family in His ways. Tim knows the Source of true wisdom and strength and never misses an opportunity to pass that knowledge on to our babies.

Happy Father’s day, Babe! We are very blessed to have you, and I am so thankful for you. You’re the best!

Which way should the toilet paper roll? And how does it affect your marriage?

Oh my goodness! I mean seriously?! The man and I have been using the same bathroom for nearly a dozen years. You would think by now he would've realized the error of his ways! Toilet paper should roll over the top towards the front, not down the back. Why doesn't he realize the extreme inconvenience of the over the back roll? The back of your hand hits the wall when you reach for it. You must go over, around, and through to grasp the next available square, and heaven forbid it should start to unroll in that position because if it is rolling down the back it will never stop! I mean, come on people! It's simple physics!! He clearly learned this from his mother, whom I love very

much, but I have to admit...To this day I still have to fight the urge to go in and change all of her toilet paper rolls to make them go the "right" way! (I know! I'm horrible!) Yes, I realized this glaring fault of Tim's while we were dating, but I thought I could change him! Yep...always a terrible illusion.

And so began our own contentious battles with acceptance and false expectations.

 When I was contacted and asked to do a book review of Mark and Jill Savages' (of Hearts at Home Ministry and JillSavage.org) latest book, No More Perfect Marriages I was very honored. I was no further into my reading than the press release before I knew this one was really going to get to the heart of the matter in a big way. This is where I found these words from Jill, "“Most of us entered into marriage with stars in our eyes and a belief that our spouse would meet our needs, fulfill our dreams, and satisfy our expectations. Reality set in as soon as you discovered this person you committed to puts the toilet paper on the roll backward." 

When it comes to being qualified to write a book on marriage you will be hard-pressed to find a couple more qualified than Mark and Jill. Jill is an author, speaker, and founder of Hearts at Home, and Mark is a former pastor turned business owner. They have five children and have been married for thirty-three years, twenty-five of them happily. They experienced a crossroads in their marriage six years ago, when Mark had a full-blow midlife crisis, became involved with another woman, and walked out. Today, God has restored their marriage and grown their intimacy and the couple is ministering together to other couples walking through similar struggles and crises. 

In my next post I'll draw back the drapes (Who am I kidding? We keep our issues veiled with sheer curtains, if anything at all!) and allow you to peek into the window of our own (or should I say my own) personal struggles in the area of acceptance as I share more particulars on the insights I gleaned from this great book. 

For now here is a great quote from Mark, "...the grass isn't really greener on the other side of the fence – there are just different weeds over there!" Love it!

I encourage you to get your own copy of No More Perfect Marriages. Whether rebuilding from brokenness, attempting to cut things off at the pass when the "slow fades" are threatening to do your marriage in, or looking for tips on ways to preserve what you have, you are sure to find something in this book to encourage and inspire you along your journey. 

Also, be sure to check out their blog for more great resources on marriage, parenting, and loving your mom-life! Click here!

Until next Monday…

“This is the day the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:24

If you'd like a chance to win a FREE copy of the book No More Perfect Marriages please comment below with your email address or private message me on my Facebook page to be entered in the July 1st drawing!

See all posts from my Book Review of No More Perfect Marriages...

Peaceful Mama = Peaceful Home; Crazy Mama = Everybody Run!!

I have said it before, and I will say it again - It is not always hunky-dory holiness around here, people! As I often say, my mess is my message, and believe me, sister there is a whole lot of mess behind each message I share.

When it comes to real life I believe we have a choice - we can hide our struggles behind a fake smile and coordinating pillows or we can rip off the mask revealing our own personal brand of crazy and in doing so utter some of the most powerful words in human connection, “Me too!” I was crying in the bathroom last night…Me Too! I served my family pizza for dinner three nights last week…Me too! I used the pool in place of a real bath all last week…Me too! See? Don’t you feel better already?? :)  

Very little will be accomplished if all I do here is tell you how to deal with your problems and never

let you see my own struggles and messes just below the surface. I believe in transparency, and I believe in taking my junk, throwing it at the feet of Jesus, and allowing Him to use it for others in any way He will. This is something I referred to as “the ultimate backfire.” Satan would love for me to hide my mess behind a smile and tell me that everything I feel is wrong and that I should be ashamed…but I'm not playing that game! I will often and continually let you know the things that I am struggling with because chances are so are you. Just because “Sister Holy Perfection” on Facebook seems to have it all together doesn't mean there's not a whole lot of junk behind that perfectly smiling selfie.

Right now, I'm dealing with maintaining peace in my heart which I know translates to peace in my homes. I believe as wives and moms we hold a lot of responsibility for the emotional environment of our home. If our hearts and our minds are in chaos our homes will feel the same. Our husbands will grow bitter and quiet, and our children will grow crazy and rebellious and fussy, and this will cause us to feel more anxiety and frustration and the cycle goes on and on. How do we stop this craziness? Remember the story of Martha and Mary when Jesus came to visit? (Luke 10:38-42) Martha was so busy trying to do everything on her to-do list that she was running around crazy, in essence ignoring Jesus who was actually there in bodily form in her living room! But while she was running around what did her sister Mary do? She just stopped everything and sat at His feet.

Now, I must admit, the type A person in me is thinking, “Well good grief! Somebody had to get all that taken care of, otherwise they would have no dinner! And seriously, if God Himself was coming over shouldn’t we at least make sure the house was straight?!” However, let's pay close attention to what Jesus said. He didn't say don't do anything and just sit here, but what he said was that Martha was busy with and worried about too much while only a few things were actually needed, and Mary had chosen what was better.

So here's how I translate this passage - Martha was busy making a gourmet meal, complete with homemade bread from scratch, vegetables from her own garden, eggs from her own chickens. She was most likely polishing her silver, dusting off the best china, ironing that tablecloth that she never used, and Jesus is basically saying, “Hey, throw a pizza in the oven, grab some paper plates, and come talk to me.”

So maybe we need to reevaluate what we are doing. I'm not saying there is never a time for a great, special occasion, homemade feast and bringing out the best of everything you have, but when the time is right for that you'll be able to do it with peace in your heart and true joy in your countenance. On the flip side, if you find that you're working yourself to the bone, you’re frantic, you're frustrated, and everybody's getting on your nerves while you're trying to prepare a “perfect” environment…well, there's a good chance that is not what God is asking you to do at the moment. He will give you the grace, the peace and the joy to do what needs to be done when it needs to be done. If you cannot do what you have planned to do and maintain your happiness and balance in your home then maybe you need to reassess your to-do list. In fact, maybe you just need to tear it up! Each season is different. There are seasons when going the extra mile and doing all the extra stuff feels great and makes me feel alive. There are also seasons when I am running around and feel like a complete mess, and everybody is fussy and whiny around me. Nothing gets done and yet when I finally say forget it and I just sit on the floor and play a game with my babies all of a sudden I feel joy and peace, and I know that is what He has for me right then. And please please please never forsake time each day for sitting at the feet of Jesus. I cannot express how important this is because if you are not in the Word and spending time in His presence none of these promises will be possible for you. You cannot breathe separated from oxygen, and as a spirit created in the image of the Almighty God, you cannot live a truly great life separated from your life source. He gives you strength, peace and joy and “all good things come down from the Father.” (James 1:7)

If you feel like a crazy mess, stop, order in, grab the paper plates, and rest your soul at His feet and see if your home doesn't have more peace even if it is less perfect. Choose the more important things over the more popular things. By doing less you can create so much more for your family and yourself.